My new blog friend Ganeida asked me some really hard questions about my post on Easter Monday. Mostly to do with the commercialism of America and what seems over the top to others. It made me laugh. Not because I didn't take it seriously, more of an embarrassed laugh.
America is definitely over the top and materialistic to the point of embarrassment. At least that has been true for me several times since living in NZ (18 mos now) with my Kiwi husband and our American kids. One of the things I love about NZ is that it simply costs too much to be materialistic here. If you have a new car or a "flash" house, etc. it is because you are really rich. I mean when a simple house costs over $250,000 you can't afford to have much of anything else.
I love the fact that we drive an 11 year old car and are happy to do it. I love that we pay a fortune in rent, because it keeps us humble about what it means to have decent shelter (not damp, doesn't make my kids sick). I even love the fact that food costs a fortune, because I have learned to eat differently and to make more home cooked meals than we ever ate in the US.
My longing for home comes in the form of missing my family/home, things I want to buy for my kids and traditions--like Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. We celebrate Thanksgiving here even though a 10 lb turkey costs us $35 (a 20 lbs turkey would be about $10 in the US), but we do it because the tradition of giving thanks is important to us.
I don't know if I will ever get used to Christmas in the summer. There we would be at church at midnight on Christmas Eve, followed by opening one present at Granny's with some egg nog by the fire, a big Christmas morning, cooking a huge family feast, and visiting all day. Here if anyone does any thing it is mostly a BBQ at the beach. It is so laid back it is practically horizontal. Even the family element doesn't seem to be as important. The two Christmas programs our church has had have been irreverent dramas. Seriously--I felt they were really almost inappropriate, especially when Christmas is one of two times a year the church is full of people who only come on the big holidays. This is our chance to really reach them and our church did a drama based on angels last year with the main angel being acted as a homosexual choir master (I swear). It was gross. Easter isn't a lot better.
Part of what I miss is the change I have experienced in worship traditions. We have gone from being Methodists (born and raised--me--my mother is Methodist pastor and I was one before I got married) to being Baptists (hubby is a Baptist pastor). So I miss the liturgy. I miss high church with hymns and congregational readings and confession. I miss the way we used to worship, especially at Christmas and Easter.
Sure, I miss the Easter egg hunt and the Christmas pageant. But mostly I miss our church families we have had over the years, because I don't have that here yet. I do have people who are friendly, some who even seem like family. But I don't have anyone here who I can just call up to go have coffee, call when I am sad, or just go to the movies. Everyone I know is affiliated with our church where my husband is a pastor. So even people who are friendly, I feel as if I have to be careful with, because they control the outcome of my husband's vocation here. Does that make sense? My husband's family is also taking some getting used to. We don't see them much because they are old beyond their years and they live 5+ hours a way.
I haven't made other friends partly because I am kind of shy, partly because we share a car and I don't get out much (we live just outside of town--about a 6k walk to town), and partly because Kiwis can be pretty stand offish with Americans. There is an enormous amount of America bashing that really bothers me--even in the church. Yup. I try to keep an open mind. I know America as a nation is far from perfect, but I am just not used to it.
There are many parts that I love about being here, but right at this moment I can't think of one. I'm just tired and sad today. It is a beautiful place to live. I love many ideological things having to do with the lives our children will experience here as opposed to America, some of which involves it being less commercial. I'm just lonely. I'm also a pastor's wife (which means he is almost always consumed with the church) and the mother of two small children.
Anyway, I hope that helps Ganeida. Thanks for asking. I love to be challenged. I probably need it more.
America is definitely over the top and materialistic to the point of embarrassment. At least that has been true for me several times since living in NZ (18 mos now) with my Kiwi husband and our American kids. One of the things I love about NZ is that it simply costs too much to be materialistic here. If you have a new car or a "flash" house, etc. it is because you are really rich. I mean when a simple house costs over $250,000 you can't afford to have much of anything else.
I love the fact that we drive an 11 year old car and are happy to do it. I love that we pay a fortune in rent, because it keeps us humble about what it means to have decent shelter (not damp, doesn't make my kids sick). I even love the fact that food costs a fortune, because I have learned to eat differently and to make more home cooked meals than we ever ate in the US.
My longing for home comes in the form of missing my family/home, things I want to buy for my kids and traditions--like Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. We celebrate Thanksgiving here even though a 10 lb turkey costs us $35 (a 20 lbs turkey would be about $10 in the US), but we do it because the tradition of giving thanks is important to us.
I don't know if I will ever get used to Christmas in the summer. There we would be at church at midnight on Christmas Eve, followed by opening one present at Granny's with some egg nog by the fire, a big Christmas morning, cooking a huge family feast, and visiting all day. Here if anyone does any thing it is mostly a BBQ at the beach. It is so laid back it is practically horizontal. Even the family element doesn't seem to be as important. The two Christmas programs our church has had have been irreverent dramas. Seriously--I felt they were really almost inappropriate, especially when Christmas is one of two times a year the church is full of people who only come on the big holidays. This is our chance to really reach them and our church did a drama based on angels last year with the main angel being acted as a homosexual choir master (I swear). It was gross. Easter isn't a lot better.
Part of what I miss is the change I have experienced in worship traditions. We have gone from being Methodists (born and raised--me--my mother is Methodist pastor and I was one before I got married) to being Baptists (hubby is a Baptist pastor). So I miss the liturgy. I miss high church with hymns and congregational readings and confession. I miss the way we used to worship, especially at Christmas and Easter.
Sure, I miss the Easter egg hunt and the Christmas pageant. But mostly I miss our church families we have had over the years, because I don't have that here yet. I do have people who are friendly, some who even seem like family. But I don't have anyone here who I can just call up to go have coffee, call when I am sad, or just go to the movies. Everyone I know is affiliated with our church where my husband is a pastor. So even people who are friendly, I feel as if I have to be careful with, because they control the outcome of my husband's vocation here. Does that make sense? My husband's family is also taking some getting used to. We don't see them much because they are old beyond their years and they live 5+ hours a way.
I haven't made other friends partly because I am kind of shy, partly because we share a car and I don't get out much (we live just outside of town--about a 6k walk to town), and partly because Kiwis can be pretty stand offish with Americans. There is an enormous amount of America bashing that really bothers me--even in the church. Yup. I try to keep an open mind. I know America as a nation is far from perfect, but I am just not used to it.
There are many parts that I love about being here, but right at this moment I can't think of one. I'm just tired and sad today. It is a beautiful place to live. I love many ideological things having to do with the lives our children will experience here as opposed to America, some of which involves it being less commercial. I'm just lonely. I'm also a pastor's wife (which means he is almost always consumed with the church) and the mother of two small children.
Anyway, I hope that helps Ganeida. Thanks for asking. I love to be challenged. I probably need it more.
I am so pleased you didn't take offense. I am shy [lol, you would never believe it reading my blog! ☺] & like lots of shy people I talk too much to cover up how uncomfortable I am in social situations where I don't know people well. I am also intensly curious about what makes others tick ~ hence the questions.
ReplyDeleteThere is a fair amount of yankee bashing goes on over here too. We've got quite a few Viet., vet families & they sure do get heckled till people get used to them. Often it is because outside of America they seem so ill~informed of stuff ~ a terrible generalisation but also how lots of non~Americans percieve Americans.[I found it while travelling through Europe too & for another generalisation, Europeans do tend to be very cosmopolotian] Aussies, we're seen as yobs & neanderthals & that's about as true as the other ~ which is why I ask questions. I get the odd live one that has me rolling my eyes but mostly people are just people ~ & homesick is terrible.
Our neighbours moved here from California & every time the washing machine rattled the house during the spin cycle all the kids would hit the floor ~ we stopped thinking them odd when we realised they'd been trained to deal with earthquakes that way & had them regularly enough that hitting the floor was 2nd nature.
I don't think they missed the earthquakes but they were all very homesick for a long time. For all the similarities there are some huge differences & the culture shock can be horrendous.
I am going to enjoy getting to know you better.
LOL The hitting the floor thing is not common here... but when we moved to Missouri from Tampa, Patrick was scared to death of pools and rivers for a LONG TIME. He was trained to be scared of alligators. :)
ReplyDeleteI should point out in all fairness that my Ditz learnt German from an American lady [speaks & reads 6 or 7 different languages]; one of the most intelligent, well~informed people I have ever met; married to an Englishman. Mind you I went up the Jungfrau with a pair of Americans & it was cringe making. I don't think I can duplicate the accent here but all the way up, at the top of her lungs, this lady [charitable appendage]was going,"Peter! Take a picture of this, Peter!" Quite the experience. We've laughed about it for years ~ & no idea she was making the rest of us, including her unfortunate husband, hugely uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteOne of the saddest things was the young man I met who had worked really hard to lose every last ounce of his American accent & cringed any time anyone asked him his nationality. One should never be embarrassed for the sins of ones compatriots but obviously he'd been given a really hard time ~ to the point that he wouldn't admit to being American.
Rabbie Burns has a wonderful little poem about God giving us the grace to see ourselves as others see us. I'm always minded that I drive plenty of people nutty & I need to be gracious when the favour is returned. ☺ It's easy to poke fun ~ but American people & ideas have really blessed the western nations in many ways & it's not fair just to riducle the stuff that's different to how we do things. As you rightly point out: down south we're so laid back we're practically horizontal & completely inert! ☺