Orange Cream

Yesterday I was reading a FB post by a friend in Texas. She was talking about how the Dallas Cowboys are like a Box of Chocolates--"you never know what you are going to get." Then she said they were playing like the orange creams in the box--the ones you bite into all hopeful and then spit out because you don't like orange creams. I thought it was really clever. Except that I love orange creams!

Anyway--having an orange cream or box of chocolate sort of week. Man that box of chocolates looks so good! I'm thinking about having DH bring me some on his way home.

DH is better today, still a bit sickly, but he had a staff retreat so he went to work. We had to cancel our small group tonight because another couple is sick (tummy bug), another couple is away, and another couple has company coming tomorrow. Oh well. Maybe we needed a break tonight and just didn't know it.

Bubba decided to try to climb up his chest of drawers last night, which promptly fell over creating a huge crash! We jumped up and ran in there. He was fine. Somehow he managed to move out of the way before it landed on him. We were so relieved! A couple we know of in Texas just lost a baby (almost 1) who died when a bookshelf he tried to climb fell over on him. Now the chest of drawers is in the hallway waiting on Mummy to find a new place for it to live. Is it normal that my kids have to live in bedrooms that are totally empty except for their beds? We even have to lock their closet doors to keep them from emptying everything in sight. Well, and because I don't want to clean-up the mess everyday. I can't even keep toys in their rooms yet because they never get any sleep--they just play. Oh well.

So, my interview with my new supervisor went really well. I loved her. She is so sweet and so kind. She was so affirming of me, which was really nice. I have no idea if I will get the provisional membership I seek with the counselling registration group. I called to let the lady in the office know that I had a supervisor now and the conversation was very strange. It went like this.

• Woman answers the phone, "(Organization name), may I help you."
• Me, "Can I speak to..."
• Woman, "This is she."
• Me, "Oh, hello, this is (my name) from (my town)."
• Woman, "Yes." (imagine her responses as curt)
• Me, (I am now flustered and unsure) "I was just calling to let you know that I have met with (insert supervisor's name) and she has agreed to be my supervisor. I'm not sure if the committee has met yet, but I thought I should let you know that I do have a supervisor now. She is going to complete the form and turn it in."
• Woman, "Yes, the committee has met."
• Me, "Oh, well, okay. Thank you."
• Woman, "Goodbye."

Is that weird, or is it just me? She acted similarly when I called last week to let her know that my supervision meeting had been postponed. When I told DH he said, "I hope she's not a counsellor." I had to laugh. Me too! So, I am trying not to freak about my application based on her response. I think she is definitely weird. My supervisor was happy to recommend me after one meeting and was so encouraging. She also said the woman I have spoken with up here is a straight shooter and wouldn't have encouraged me to apply if she didn't think I met the criteria. We shall see. There is a big push to get membership applications done before the end of the year and registration changes are implemented (new government regulations).

Through everything, I remain convinced that I am in the process of being taught something, from God. You know what I mean. There is something that I am supposed to be learning. I can feel it, but I also feel that I continue to miss the boat. I think it has to do with prayer. My mother sent me this great excerpt from a Beth Moore show and it was about a pastor who got so caught up in preaching that he quit having prayer time. When a woman from his church asked him about prayer he said, "it's my job to preach, it's your job to pray." Yea. He quickly realized what a stupid comment that was. And got his prayer life back in focus. I keep waiting on DH to get his prayer life together and to lead us in our family prayer life. But maybe I am supposed to be doing more, even while I wait on DH. That sounds really obvious to me now, but it hasn't for a long time.

Anyway--thanks for the prayers for my meeting. There is nothing left to do now but wait and pray. I have a two day course next week on the Treaty of Waitangi. Hope that is good. It will cost me a fortune in babysitting! Meanwhile this week is all about the basics--you know laundry, cleaning, menu planning, and installing our window safety latches so we can safely sleep with our windows open. It's already that time of year! Lots of things to keep me busy.

PS--still concerned a bit about Bubba. I don't know how to explain it in greater detail than I have before. He seems (to me) to have some issues with impulse control and he seems much harder than normal to re-focus when things get out of hand. I'm also concerned about his language development. He has some words and he uses them sometimes (Momma, Dadda, Bye, Love you, Thank you, Ta, Drink, Eat, Yes, No, I’m sorry, Good-bye, Bed, Oops, I did it, What happened, Movie, I know, Where did it go, and Outside), but most of what he says is baby talk or not discernable. I am wondering if part of his frustrtation is from not being able to articualte what he wants or needs. My mother was talking with a friend who is an audiologist in Texas and she told her that in Texas they would have him in speech therapy classes. I have asked our GP's about this, casually, but they continue to say he's fine. Is he? At this point in the year we won't be able to get any help until February anyway. Things will start to slow down in a couple of weeks and then close down in December and January. (It's summer here and Christmas.) So, my plan is to work on our flash cards and to label things in the house. Maybe we can get some language skills going. I'm not sure how to help with the behavioural issues, but maybe I can work on those as well.

Last week when I mentioned what happened at the park. Some of you asked about how it seemed abnormal--I mean his behaviour. Well, you have to imagine the normal determination of a two year old and then multiply that by 10 or 20. He will hurt himself or others to get what he wants. Not out of meanness, but out of strong will. He will headbutt us or struggle to the point of hurting us to get away to continue what he was doing. He will smack another kid or get right in their face and scream to get a toy he wants. It's not out of meanness, just frustration. He's not a mean kid--he's really very loving. He doesn't do that at home with his sister, only at creche or the park or some place away from home. This is not constant behavior. He can also play just fine, but it does happen at least once every time we are in a group. A group just seems to over stimulate him.

We try to use timeout as a discipling tool. I have even put him in timeout at church. It works for a few minutes, but he never seems to retain what he is being taught. This may just be because he is two. He has finally learned to walk with us while we are just holding his hand. Something we never would have thought he would do a year ago. And he will mind me at home--come to me when I call him, stop doing something I ask him to stop doing. So there is that. It just seems to occur when he is over stimulated. Maybe that is normal too? Smacking his hand or leg when he is defiant has no effect at all and I hate to do that anyway.

The great concern for me comes from how impossible it seems to stop him when he wants something--like another ride on the merry-go-round or another cupcake. Or how many times have I told him not to try to climb his drawers and last night he pulled them over? The impulsivity and the over stimulated reward center (that part of the brain that registers when something feels good) can be symptoms of his drug exposure. That's what I worry about--I guess. I just want to make sure I am doing all that I can for him, but I am not sure how to get help with that here. I try not to think about an adolescent with reward center issues. I worry that DH and I with our obvious self-control issues (we are both big people who like to eat) will be able to help him effectively. But for the time being I am trying not to borrow trouble. I don't need to worry about when he is 13. I need to worry about when he is 2 (now). That's where we are.