Having sort of a sad day. It didn't start out that way. We woke-up after a lovely night's sleep. The kids slept all night and slept late. I love winter! The morning was productive. A few tussles and threats of the naughty chair, but mostly a lovely morning. I didn't even have time to get online until about 10 am.
That's when I found an email from Olivia's birth mother's mother (Olivia's grandmother). She is a very lovely Christian lady. We keep in touch with her more than we do with Olivia's birth mother. She is raising Olivia's two older half-brothers (age 5 & 7). We haven't heard much from Olivia's birth mother since before Christmas. She went into a sort of half-way house for women who are wanting to change their lives, get off of drugs, get away from gangs, etc. We were praying that was a good change in her life.
Today, we found out that she has given birth to another baby girl on June 7. This is her 4th child born. She has lost one (we were to adopt that one), and aborted two. She is 27. All born by c-section. I don't know the details. I hope this is a good thing. Maybe the Dad is in the picture and they are able to handle all that comes with raising a child. Or if not, maybe she has place her for adoption. But I fear--it will be neither of those. It's so sad.
Ian's birth mother is pregnant again too. I mentioned that earlier. This will be her 6th child born. She's also had 2-3 abortions. She is also 27.
I'm not so much asking the questions today that I normally do like--why them and why not me? I think I have finally settled into the life that I have. I am infertile, but I have two gorgeous children that I LOVE more than anything else in this world. And God willing, I will get to be Mum to more children.
What makes me sad is what this means for my kids. What does this mean for the new babies of these women? How will I ever know what to say to my kids and when about their birth mothers and the choices they made? It's just sad.
Blah. I pray that God is in the midst of all of it. I pray that He will help me train up my children, love my children, and help them with all they need to process in their lives. I realized today that if I get to foster children or adopt another child--there will be more sadness in my life. There will be more sad stories and bad choices--but there will also be loads of love and laughter and hope. God willing--lots of hope! I want to say that I hope I am good enough to be the mother these children need. Then I think that I could never be that good, but that God can. God can heal their hearts when they need healing. And the miracle we hope for won't come from us, but will come from our God who loves our kids even more than we do.
That's when I found an email from Olivia's birth mother's mother (Olivia's grandmother). She is a very lovely Christian lady. We keep in touch with her more than we do with Olivia's birth mother. She is raising Olivia's two older half-brothers (age 5 & 7). We haven't heard much from Olivia's birth mother since before Christmas. She went into a sort of half-way house for women who are wanting to change their lives, get off of drugs, get away from gangs, etc. We were praying that was a good change in her life.
Today, we found out that she has given birth to another baby girl on June 7. This is her 4th child born. She has lost one (we were to adopt that one), and aborted two. She is 27. All born by c-section. I don't know the details. I hope this is a good thing. Maybe the Dad is in the picture and they are able to handle all that comes with raising a child. Or if not, maybe she has place her for adoption. But I fear--it will be neither of those. It's so sad.
Ian's birth mother is pregnant again too. I mentioned that earlier. This will be her 6th child born. She's also had 2-3 abortions. She is also 27.
I'm not so much asking the questions today that I normally do like--why them and why not me? I think I have finally settled into the life that I have. I am infertile, but I have two gorgeous children that I LOVE more than anything else in this world. And God willing, I will get to be Mum to more children.
What makes me sad is what this means for my kids. What does this mean for the new babies of these women? How will I ever know what to say to my kids and when about their birth mothers and the choices they made? It's just sad.
Blah. I pray that God is in the midst of all of it. I pray that He will help me train up my children, love my children, and help them with all they need to process in their lives. I realized today that if I get to foster children or adopt another child--there will be more sadness in my life. There will be more sad stories and bad choices--but there will also be loads of love and laughter and hope. God willing--lots of hope! I want to say that I hope I am good enough to be the mother these children need. Then I think that I could never be that good, but that God can. God can heal their hearts when they need healing. And the miracle we hope for won't come from us, but will come from our God who loves our kids even more than we do.
There is a girl I knew that had 6 kids from 6 different guys. She just kept having them even though she had drug issues. Then one day they were finally all taken away and put into 6 different homes. I hope they are doing well. Some foster homes are better than others. Just hope they are doing okay. :(
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