Too long to leave as a response to a comment

For Mrs. C--That my children will be seen as not just the toddlers who throw tantrums, but the black kids misbehaving is part of my concern too. So often people already view adopted kids as damaged goods. Our kids may have some special needs or need some special consideration because of the situations of their births, but we never see them or treat them as damaged. Bubba, more so than Cupcake, because he was born positive for cocaine and did suffer the withdrawal and effects of that. But even Cupcake experienced drug use while in the womb and her febrile convulsions are a huge worry for us. I work so hard at keeping them well and surrounding them with love.

I used to worry myself sick about how other people will treat them, but since I will never be able to control that I just pray and believe that God will gives us what we need to handle it as we go along. After two years I feel as if I finally have the confidence, when we go out, that these are MY CHILDREN. If people ask "are these your children?" I say "Yes." And I don't offer any other explanations. There are any number of scenarios that could explain how I am the mother of two bi-racial children and the only thing anyone else needs to know is that they are mine (ours).

It is always fun trying to explain our homeschool intentions with a dear friend/cousin (also a church leader). She says "yes, but they will have to face the real world someday." I always feel like saying--"but not as 5 year olds, in fact not until they are old enough and equipped to deal with it." The only argument people can use is the socialisation one and I never understand why that one element is so much more important than giving our children the best start in life we can. They won't be bullied. They won't experience racism at school. They won't have to learn things that contradict their faith. They will have more time to play and for experiential learning. Our duty to our kids is to raise healthy and independent adults who are able to care for themselves and contribute to society. I also want to nurture them in their faith and to give them the most security I can, for as long as I can, so that when we do face these issues (racism, bullying, adoption, etc.) they are as prepared as possible to confront them.

Wow. I think you just helped me articulate my argument for homeschooling. Thanks! We chose a road for having a family that is not an easy one. We knew that. We made an informed decision, but we still learn many things as we go along. The important thing that I keep in the front of my mind every day is that I am blessed beyond belief to be their mother. Even when I am sitting at the ER covered in puke, spending the night in the hospital with a baby girl whose had a febrile convulsion, kneeling in the floor talking to a toddler on the naughty seat, or dealing with stares from silly people in public. Every minute or every day I feel so blessed to be the one that gets to mother them.

I didn't mention, and I should have, that yesterday we ran into a lovely clerk at one the stores who loves us and our kids. Every time we see her she yells out to us and says "how are those beautiful babies and how are you?" She's not the only one. For every 3 or 4 negative reactions we get 1 really good reaction. That's not bad at all. We just focus on the good. Isn't that what all of us do?

Love you Mrs. C! Many blessings to you today.