Wednesday to myself

DH is away tonight, filling in for the youth pastor at church. I wonder if he will decide he misses it. I hope not. I think I much prefer being the pastor's wife instead of the youth pastor's wife. Plus the pay is better.

It has been a crazy day. Really, it's been a crazy week. I have had a lot of success selling stuff on TradeMe and cleaning out the house. But it has kept me really busy. I lose about 15% of the profit between what it costs me to sell it and the overage on postage. You just can't charge people enough for postage here, especially when I have to buy envelopes to mail things in. It is still good though. I have paid about 35% of our credit card bill and I will have more paid off this week. I still have tons of stuff to sell. We decided to sell our Rugby tickets, which really helped. It was a nice idea, but we really can't afford luxuries like $135 rugby tickets (each), plus $140 for a hotel for one night, and the cost of getting to the game. DH was really okay with it, which was so nice. We are still going away on our little holiday down South if he gets his paper done on time. We shall see.

So, the friend thing. Well, S came over on Monday. It was a really strange and obscure conversation. A lot of what she said really bothered me. I wasn't prepared for it, so I took in more of it than I should have. I mean--seriously--have you ever known someone who just insists on telling you every negative thought they have ever had about you or experienced because of you? Well, I have. I don't know why people want to do that. Do they think they are being good friends? I think they do it because they get pleasure out of inflicting pain or suffering or making themselves feel superior.

Anyway, what she wanted to talk about was two-fold. First, she was "concerned" about my starting a Thursday night Bible study for women at my house in July (after our holiday). She never really said why. I explained to her that I had been thinking about this and praying about this for months and that I felt sure it was the thing to do and the way to do it (at my house). That, right there, should have stopped her. But she just kept on. She never really explained except that the study is intensive and why at my house. Whatever.

Then we moved onto the accountability group. This was something I was doing for myself and to give her a bone. I thought maybe if I reached out to her a little she would back off a little. Umm, no. She doesn't want anyone else in the group. She just wants me. Never mind that she had initially agreed to someone else in the group and knew I had already asked the other lady. So, now I have two groups. One with my friend E and two ladies she invited. And one with S on a different day--so that we can be "intimate and vulnerable." My favorite things. The bright side is she can't commit to a regular time and day, so I am thinking after a few weeks it will get too hard and we'll have to scrub it.

I feel like such a jerk for griping about this. But we all have these people in our lives, don't we? The "friends" who actually make you feel worse. That is S. I am trying to be nice to her, to be the bigger person, and to support her because she is genuinely lonely and going through a hard time adjusting to life in NZ. I feel for her--I do. I just pray that God shores me up, because she is exactly the kind of person who could just suck the life right out of me.

S also felt the need to talk to me about Bubba. You see she has a "dear friend" in Canada who adopted a drug baby, so she is an expert. This baby boy grew-up to be violent and wreak all kinds of havoc on the family until he finally "emancipated" himself at 14. Her friends were nice Christian people so there was no reason for it, it certainly wasn't their fault. She made it clear that she doesn't think Bubba is "normal" and that he needs attention. She does support my decision to homeschool, but was concerned that the kids (already) aren't socialized enough. Oh, and church doesn't count. Yea.

What do you say? Someone, a church member, a supposed friend, is sitting on your couch undermining your decision to do a Bible study and then insults your child--all in the name of "friendship." My mother and DH both told me that I just need to pray to be ready before she comes over the next time (which is tomorrow at lunch). I need to not absorb what she says. And if she crosses the line, I need to let her know--gently.

Oh, I could go on and on, but I won't. The rest of the week has been good. This was day three of no yelling at the kids. I am trying to function without ever raising my voice. It does seem to help Bubba. I can speak sternly when needed, but no yelling. Today was a lovely day until about 4 pm and think that was because DH left to go back to church. We didn't have to have any timeouts today and Cupcake ate a piece of chicken at dinner when asked. So--all-in-all--a good day. We haven't gotten out this week, but I am still getting over this horrible sinus stuff. I am hoping to get to the store tomorrow, before my meeting with S. Maybe I will even go to the park with the kids. I wonder if socializing with ducks counts as socialization? I did walk on the treadmill today for 30 minutes. Yay me! That is my new goal. I am going to kick this high blood sugar and fat thing in the rear, once and for all.

Thanks for listening.