A Man Works from Sun to Sun, but a Woman's Work Is Never Done

I love this cartoon. It is so true! At least at my house. Not that I am implying that DH never helps, but I would dare say that his definition of help and mine are very different. Having one of those days.

Now, I grew up in a home where the man (my dad) did nothing. I mean absolutely nothing, except (of course) make a mess. He couldn't even be bothered to throw his newspapers in the trash. They just piled up around his chair from Monday until Saturday when my Mom and I cleaned house. Even when we were moving house Dad was responsible for moving his TV and his clothes. That was it. He never lifted a box or even drove a truck. That was all my Mom, me, and whoever Mom could get to help us.

Needless to say, I don't get much sympathy from my mother. She thinks that because DH works (something else my Dad never did much of), babysits (sort of) and changes diapers that I am extraordinarily blessed and have no room to complain. Maybe she is right. But that doesn't stop me from complaining every now and then and feeling a bit overwhelmed regularly.

I help DH with his church work all the time. In fact our whole lives revolve around the church and his ministry. That is to be expected when you work in church ministry. I don't mind to help when I can and I am learning how to do that without over committing myself or neglecting the kids. I am fully responsible for the house which involves all of the laundry, cleaning, organizing, dishes, child rearing, sorting clothes and toys, menu planning, shopping, cooking (the last three also involve planning to suit our diet and fitness routine), and paying the bills. This is a job that if done well means that I work from the time I get up around 6:15 am until I go to bed, usually around 10:30 pm (if I am healthy). My work days are Monday through Sunday, 365 days a year.

All normal Mom stuff. You all do it. I know you do. Some of you do it on a GRAND scale because you have 6-16 kids. I only have 2, albeit close in age. I love being a Mom and a Wife. I love having a husband who doesn't run around on me, drink, do drugs, or mistreat the kids.

But what happens when Mom is sick? What happens when Mom and kids are sick, like really sick, for 2-3 weeks? What about when Mom's back goes out and she is seeing the chiropractor 1-3 times a week and still taking loads of pain medicine just to get through the day? Never mind picking up the kiddies or functioning well enough to do my normal routine. Well, the house becomes one HUGE, stinking pit. The poor kitchen counters have only been wiped like 3 times in 4 weeks (when I did it). The laundry is a mess, which means the play room is a mess and unusable (oh yea, and there are 10 bags of cement mix in there right now anyway). I have spent probably 40 hours in the last 4 days trying to sell a ton of stuff online to pay off our credit card (again). My living room is a wreck. And our bathroom is disgusting!

I very politely made a list and asked DH to help me with it last Friday (his Saturday). Nothing. It's now Tuesday. He normally comes home on Tuesday afternoons to help get ready for our home group. But he informed me when he left for work today that he wouldn't be doing that since our home group is off for tonight. That means the help I was planning on for today is off.

Two kids need a bath, but Mommy can't bend over the bath tub. The list just goes on and on. I'm a bit frustrated.

Over the last few months I have been trying to work as if unto God. To keep my house running smoothly and to be a blessing to DH. I hate to ask for extra. But I don't have a choice in this case. We can't afford help. We don't have family close by. It's just me and DH and a 2 year old boy and a 3 year old girl. Oh, and a 9 month old Chihuahua puppy who still isn't fully potty trained. I need HELP!! And I need that help from a willing husband who sees something that needs doing and just does it.

I might be asking too much.