Just having one of those mornings. Blah. It started yesterday after my fortnightly accountability group with two friends from church. We seem to be drifting into this form of visiting and watching kids rather than sharing anything constructive. We mostly sit around a gripe about how we don't have time for personal time with God. When they were leaving Cupcake's best buddy--Lilly--threw a whopper of a tantrum the likes of which I have never really seen before. I felt so bad for her Mommy. Wow--that was a shocker! Then almost immediately I felt totally convicted for having talked badly about this woman from church who occasionally babysits for folks. We have just recently figured out how strange she is, but are sort of enmeshed with her because she volunteers on Tuesday nights to watch our small group kiddies. Some part of me thinks I was just trying to get help with my concerns, but then I know how much I like to feel like I have news on someone else. Isn't that awful?! It seems to run in my family. Anyway, I confessed it and apologized to my group--I hope they don't think I am horrible.
I also mentioned during our meeting how sometimes it is easier to focus on God when there is drama occurring in our lives. Why did I say such a stupid thing? As soon as it escaped my mouth I knew it was wrong. And I haven't felt settled since then. No new drama has started, just that sense of dread. But I was right--suddenly I feel the urgent need to get before God and seek His peace and protection.
UGH! The in-laws came for a visit. They were very nice. MIL is not doing well. I asked them point blank what was wrong and they ignored me. We are supposed to go "to town" between my doctor's appointment this morning and my Esther class this evening. Of course we are in the middle of the worst storm to hit NZ in 40 years, so it is raining cats and dogs. We'll see. We can still go for coffee and maybe she will tell me what's wrong.
Trying so hard not to totally dread this appointment this morning. I need to just get it over with, but I am not happy about it. I have no good news to give the doctor about weight loss or exercise. I still can't exercise because of my back and my weight is just up and down. Maybe she won't even ask and I am just borrowing trouble. Here's hoping. Now I need to get busy and shave my legs.
Praying that the rest of my day turns out better than I feel at this moment (6:21 am). On that note here are a few things for which I am grateful--(Thankful Thursday)--
1. I am grateful for my cute little kiddies and the energy to enjoy them.
2. I am grateful for my husband who is realizing his need for structure and focus in the midst of being given more responsibility at work.
3. I am grateful for $3 prescriptions and allergy nose spray.
4. I am grateful for my Brita water filter and the clean water it provides.
5. I am grateful for my almost finished fence.
6. I am grateful for new friends (finally) developing in NZ after almost 2 years here.
7. I am grateful for old friends who continue to keep in touch and have even come to visit. That is amazing! Most of the time I don't feel very worthy of friends.
8. I am grateful for a great chiropractor. I love her and so does Cupcake!
9. I am grateful that my little constipated Cupcake is almost regular and we can try potty training again when the weather warms up.
10. Last, but not least, I am grateful for my God who loves me no matter my imperfections and continues to find ways to use me for His glory. Thank you Jesus.
Ah, see, I feel better now. Count your blessings...name them one by one.
I also mentioned during our meeting how sometimes it is easier to focus on God when there is drama occurring in our lives. Why did I say such a stupid thing? As soon as it escaped my mouth I knew it was wrong. And I haven't felt settled since then. No new drama has started, just that sense of dread. But I was right--suddenly I feel the urgent need to get before God and seek His peace and protection.
UGH! The in-laws came for a visit. They were very nice. MIL is not doing well. I asked them point blank what was wrong and they ignored me. We are supposed to go "to town" between my doctor's appointment this morning and my Esther class this evening. Of course we are in the middle of the worst storm to hit NZ in 40 years, so it is raining cats and dogs. We'll see. We can still go for coffee and maybe she will tell me what's wrong.
Trying so hard not to totally dread this appointment this morning. I need to just get it over with, but I am not happy about it. I have no good news to give the doctor about weight loss or exercise. I still can't exercise because of my back and my weight is just up and down. Maybe she won't even ask and I am just borrowing trouble. Here's hoping. Now I need to get busy and shave my legs.
Praying that the rest of my day turns out better than I feel at this moment (6:21 am). On that note here are a few things for which I am grateful--(Thankful Thursday)--
1. I am grateful for my cute little kiddies and the energy to enjoy them.
2. I am grateful for my husband who is realizing his need for structure and focus in the midst of being given more responsibility at work.
3. I am grateful for $3 prescriptions and allergy nose spray.
4. I am grateful for my Brita water filter and the clean water it provides.
5. I am grateful for my almost finished fence.
6. I am grateful for new friends (finally) developing in NZ after almost 2 years here.
7. I am grateful for old friends who continue to keep in touch and have even come to visit. That is amazing! Most of the time I don't feel very worthy of friends.
8. I am grateful for a great chiropractor. I love her and so does Cupcake!
9. I am grateful that my little constipated Cupcake is almost regular and we can try potty training again when the weather warms up.
10. Last, but not least, I am grateful for my God who loves me no matter my imperfections and continues to find ways to use me for His glory. Thank you Jesus.
Ah, see, I feel better now. Count your blessings...name them one by one.
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