Have you ever seen any of the old Ma and Pa Kettle movies? They are some of my favourites, especially the one that started it all--The Egg and I with Claudette Colbert and Fred MacMurray. It's the first movie in which are introduced to the lazy Pa and the ever industrious Ma, mother of 12 (?) kids. When her new friend, Claudette Colbert, comes for a visit and can't find a clean place to sit down Ma gives her first bit of wisdom..."I was as tidy as the next one when Pa and I were first married, but it was fight, fight, fight all the time. So then I figured if Pa wouldn't change and be neat, I'd have to change and be dirty. There's been peace in this house ever since." That's how I feel today. Something I'm considering.
We've had an incredibly busy couple of weeks. DH is busier at church now than ever, family life sort of blends into the shadows. I have finally succeeded in running off S here, so no longer have her beating my door down to be "bosom buddies." I think my best friend from home is feeling a bit far away, because even she isn't responding to emails at the moment. DH is busy and ignoring me. Feeling a bit lost at the moment.
I did manage to get some attention this week--inadvertently--Cupcake had a seizure that was not with a fever. So, off we went to the doctor who fast forwarded our specialist appointment. We did that Thursday morning. After a thorough exam and several tests we left with no more answers. Now we are waiting on an out-patient appointment for an EEG. If she has another seizure before then, they will likely start her on medication. They are hoping to avoid that if necessary, because once you start to medicate for epilepsy it means two years of monitoring or longer. Anyway--I do feel better about that knowing they are at least aware of her and watching her. We'll know soon if it is epilepsy or just a seizure disorder that she may eventually outgrow. They are also testing for sickle cell anemia, just in case.
For two days I have been having an email conversation with my self, apparently, since DH isn't responding. That's how we do most of our big talking. I email and vent--he answers. But this week nothing. The first email I told him off for jumping on me again. He's been so edgy that he's jumped down my throat several times this week and actually made me cry--unusual in our relationship. No response from him. The second one--I apologized for possibly taking him for granted and tried to be calm and sweet--reminding him that my love language is acts of service with quality time being a close second. Too bad for him--I don't feel loved unless I am being helped out or at least have a few hours a week of quality time. Nothing, no response from him.
Whatever. We'll have been married seven years in about 6 weeks. I wonder if the polish has just rubbed off. I thought that we would be best friends forever and always be madly in love. These days I have conversations with myself like--he's such a good dad, blah, blah, blah. I imagine that I am a little bit spoiled and maybe I expect too much. I'm not sure. I do know that it would be nice to have the person who means the most to me in life, other than the kids, (the person who talks and sleeps in my bed) care about how I feel and what I need. Maybe even find me as interesting as his work. Feeling as if it is time to stop waiting on a partnership in everything we do/I do and thinking I should just start getting used to taking care of myself. How does that work?
Okay--enough whining this morning. Time to get back to cleaning the bedroom, doing laundry, and hanging up clothes. At least I take advantage of him being home on a Saturday morning. ;-)
We've had an incredibly busy couple of weeks. DH is busier at church now than ever, family life sort of blends into the shadows. I have finally succeeded in running off S here, so no longer have her beating my door down to be "bosom buddies." I think my best friend from home is feeling a bit far away, because even she isn't responding to emails at the moment. DH is busy and ignoring me. Feeling a bit lost at the moment.
I did manage to get some attention this week--inadvertently--Cupcake had a seizure that was not with a fever. So, off we went to the doctor who fast forwarded our specialist appointment. We did that Thursday morning. After a thorough exam and several tests we left with no more answers. Now we are waiting on an out-patient appointment for an EEG. If she has another seizure before then, they will likely start her on medication. They are hoping to avoid that if necessary, because once you start to medicate for epilepsy it means two years of monitoring or longer. Anyway--I do feel better about that knowing they are at least aware of her and watching her. We'll know soon if it is epilepsy or just a seizure disorder that she may eventually outgrow. They are also testing for sickle cell anemia, just in case.
For two days I have been having an email conversation with my self, apparently, since DH isn't responding. That's how we do most of our big talking. I email and vent--he answers. But this week nothing. The first email I told him off for jumping on me again. He's been so edgy that he's jumped down my throat several times this week and actually made me cry--unusual in our relationship. No response from him. The second one--I apologized for possibly taking him for granted and tried to be calm and sweet--reminding him that my love language is acts of service with quality time being a close second. Too bad for him--I don't feel loved unless I am being helped out or at least have a few hours a week of quality time. Nothing, no response from him.
Whatever. We'll have been married seven years in about 6 weeks. I wonder if the polish has just rubbed off. I thought that we would be best friends forever and always be madly in love. These days I have conversations with myself like--he's such a good dad, blah, blah, blah. I imagine that I am a little bit spoiled and maybe I expect too much. I'm not sure. I do know that it would be nice to have the person who means the most to me in life, other than the kids, (the person who talks and sleeps in my bed) care about how I feel and what I need. Maybe even find me as interesting as his work. Feeling as if it is time to stop waiting on a partnership in everything we do/I do and thinking I should just start getting used to taking care of myself. How does that work?
Okay--enough whining this morning. Time to get back to cleaning the bedroom, doing laundry, and hanging up clothes. At least I take advantage of him being home on a Saturday morning. ;-)
I hope Cupcake is feeling better soon and you get some definitive answers. I would have a lot of questions about anti-seizure meds and whether they are safe to stop suddenly etc. or what to do if she feels sick/feverish...
ReplyDeletePS It would be um... interesting if God suddenly gave you 10 more children. lol you really would be trying to find that clean spot for a while there during the adjustment!!
I loved the series! DH is a little more refined than Pa was and so are you! Sorry you're feeling neglected! I just work work work and when I'm home I don't wanna go near a computer and my iPhone is NOT typing friendly. I did try an call you Wed night (my time) and didn't get an answer. That was probably when you were at the doctor- sorry! Hoping EVERYONE is ok. It will all be ok. Promise- love you forever!
ReplyDeleteI found your blog via 16 Blessings' Mom...a blog I love to read!
ReplyDeleteWow, I can relate to this first post already. We're expecting our 8th baby and I feel neglected quite often due to my husband worried sick so often about the economy here, so when he isn't working a million hours a week (which I will say is a true blessing when he does get overtime), he wants to lose himself on his computer. We have had a phenomenal relationship too, but have had a bit of a bumpy 6 months or so. We've had them here and there over the years so I am very confident this one also will pass but it's been the biggest bump we've hit thusfar. I think I'm finally learning to speak up for my needs and it's not always welcome information to my lovely husband. :) AND I'm pregnant, so I don't tend to back down too easily. :S We're going on 15 years of wedded bliss and still have these times, but I do believe it's all normal and when you go through them you actually get a lot closer afterwards because you've clarified some things that needed clarifying in the meantime. :)