It's review time here in large rural city in Northland NZ. Always a fun time. DH gets to be "reviewed" by a member of the Elders team and the Governance team. Last year (his first year here) he sailed through. This year, not so much.
Trying really hard not to cry. I understand the need to be reviewed and to meet expectations. What bothers me is that these are lay people who have no idea what it is like to be a clergy person. A clergy person who has very different demands on his or her life, on their family's lives--that we live in a fish bowl and have to be concerned for every thought, every action, and apparently every drop of food we eat.
DH has worked so hard this year. Our kids have been sick a lot. We have been sick a lot. But still we have worked. His preaching gets better by the minute. The "youth service" continues to grow and the kids respond even when the adults think the preaching is "too spiritual."
Anyway--I could go on and on like this. Spitting out "key indicators" and defending my husband or myself. I'll spare ya. Trying to stop my skin from crawling because the one thing I hate the most is the idea that people have been talking about me, about us.
Just say a prayer. He's a little bit heart broken. I am a lot heart broken. Basically, we are fat, the kids and I don't go to church enough, we don't interact with young families enough, blah, blah, blah. What hurts the most is I was just starting to feel as if I fit in and now I want to run screaming from the country. Maybe DH should retrain as truck driver--it's hard for people to complain about how you drive a truck, just keep it on the road. And I'm pretty sure the wife and kids of a truck driver don't have to perform to any great standards.
Lovely day.
The really funny part is I have been giving my mother advice for weeks about how to work as if unto God and not to worry about her crazy boss--the senior pastor. I guess it's my turn to take my own advice. Not as easy to do. At least we are blessed with an awesome senior pastor! Thank you Lord. Please--please pray for us. Andy's (DH) review in person is tomorrow night, Wed. at 7:30 pm NZ time.
Trying really hard not to cry. I understand the need to be reviewed and to meet expectations. What bothers me is that these are lay people who have no idea what it is like to be a clergy person. A clergy person who has very different demands on his or her life, on their family's lives--that we live in a fish bowl and have to be concerned for every thought, every action, and apparently every drop of food we eat.
DH has worked so hard this year. Our kids have been sick a lot. We have been sick a lot. But still we have worked. His preaching gets better by the minute. The "youth service" continues to grow and the kids respond even when the adults think the preaching is "too spiritual."
Anyway--I could go on and on like this. Spitting out "key indicators" and defending my husband or myself. I'll spare ya. Trying to stop my skin from crawling because the one thing I hate the most is the idea that people have been talking about me, about us.
Just say a prayer. He's a little bit heart broken. I am a lot heart broken. Basically, we are fat, the kids and I don't go to church enough, we don't interact with young families enough, blah, blah, blah. What hurts the most is I was just starting to feel as if I fit in and now I want to run screaming from the country. Maybe DH should retrain as truck driver--it's hard for people to complain about how you drive a truck, just keep it on the road. And I'm pretty sure the wife and kids of a truck driver don't have to perform to any great standards.
Lovely day.
The really funny part is I have been giving my mother advice for weeks about how to work as if unto God and not to worry about her crazy boss--the senior pastor. I guess it's my turn to take my own advice. Not as easy to do. At least we are blessed with an awesome senior pastor! Thank you Lord. Please--please pray for us. Andy's (DH) review in person is tomorrow night, Wed. at 7:30 pm NZ time.
Ok Bonnie straight talking Kath here and u know that with my dad and brother ministers and Ross their right hand man I know what I am going to dribble on about
ReplyDeleteyep to be reviewed by laymen is hard but it has to be done u know that
If u are doing what u believe God has asked u to do then smile and let God deal with it.....(hard I know)
My personal view is that this review although necessary, has allowed the devil to take ur and DH mind of the job at hand
The devil now has u both upset, angry and heart broken, looking at other ways to get a income and upset both of u so that DH interview tomorrow won't go well cause his mind is not where it should be
Here it comes Bonnie ............PULL UP UR BIG GIRL PANTIES and suck it up.....be stroong, know GOD is in control and be strong for DH......he can't do this with out u and u r no good to him if u are uptight about it...
Ok gentle Kath back....massive hugs to u I totally understand. The devil plays these games to me when ever I decide to start changing my life.......DONT LET HIM WIN
Love ya....ps don't post this comment if u don't want to...hope I didn't offend xx
Oh sweetie! So hard I know. I've done lay preaching [could ya guess? ☺] & I know people can dump even when you are 100% sure you've delivered what God told you to deliver! They just don't want to hear because they don't like what they're being told. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteChin up. You are working for God in the hope of that, " well done, thou good & faithfull servant." I think you are starting to fit in & so people feel free to criticise more; they don't do that to strangers in the same way so that is a plus & this may just be a transition year ~ meaning next year will be better.
Personally I hate being held accountable. It brings out the grizzly bear in me.:(
PS ~Guess what word verification is?! Unbelievable! It's PRIEST!
Well, I get the need for reviews as well, but I'm so so glad that I don't have to deal with petty church people any more. I can deal with the NICE church people when they're not at church! Ha ha!
ReplyDeleteI WAS expecting to hear the you not going to church enough thing. Reading your blog, I kept wondering when it would come up in meetings or whatever that your family wasn't there enough to meet their standards (sooner or later). So I could see that coming a mile away, really.
But the FAT thing? Are you serious? That is out of control, Bonnie. Honestly and truly. Out of control. I see standards for church attendance when you're on staff, but weight maintenance seems to me to be a "worldly" sort of standard. Maybe they don't like dh's hair or the way you do your nails either??
Seriously, though, I know you are really hurting right now and maybe my comment is even more hurtful on top of that. Friends try to be honest w/o being hurtful and hopefully I will never cross that line because I really never want to do that.
Please know I am REALLY PRAYING that God will show you what is reasonable, and what is the flesh of these folks getting in the way, and what might just be misunderstanding on both ends. I am praying right now also that you and Jesus are best friends no matter what.
He is my best friend, too, so that makes us friends together. God bless and shields up, Scotty.
Aaaand how did it go??
ReplyDelete