So, after my melt down last night and my blog post this morning--I did have some good news today. Our senior pastor took the time to come and talk to me. He explained the whole review system. The reports that we read were compilations of what individual members had written. They didn't come from the "reviewers," who are both friends (hence some of the shock from the reviews). He said the reason they didn't talk about the comments relating to me or the family last night is because he (the senior pastor) and the reviewers thought they were so off base that they weren't worth mentioning. That was very nice to hear.
I am trying to let go of any hurt I felt over why DH didn't clarify it for me last night. The reality is it doesn't matter. I know that. I know that at any given time there will be those in the church who love you, those who don't, and those who don't care one way or the other. But it was nice to hear from our senior pastor today that I just need to be myself. Not only that, but that DH and I have done great work.
He didn't know for sure who the nasty comments came from, but suspects it is the man I mentioned in my last post. He and his wife are different. Both claim to have major ADHD problems and are probably right. They have three boys all with AHDH--who all love us. This couple wanted to be "Auntie and Uncle" to our kids and have gone out of their way at times to help us, like buying us nappies and wipes all of the time (for our first year here). They even helped us move. The wife is tall and big (like me) and we have had lots of talks about healthy eating and body image--mostly me helping her. But they have become disillusioned with DH because they realized they couldn't pit him against our senior pastor. Even if they didn't get along so well, DH is not the kind of man who would do anything to undermine his pastor/his boss. So they complain all of the time about how long the sermons are and that they are too spiritual and boring. Yada, yada, yada. They are the ones who say we should have worship with no preaching. Yup. Makes you wonder why they bother to come to church. The wife did children's time this month and because it is Halloween (we don't celebrate it here or as a church) she decided to share all of the scary Scriptures with the kids--like stories about severed heads, axes, knives, wars, demons, and leviathans. Yea. I missed it. I was working in the creche. But I was really glad that Cupcake hadn't been up there to hear it. If she had known all of the complaints that DH and I had to field over that she would keep her mouth shut.
So, all-in-all, not a bad end to the day. I have had to come to terms with what I need to learn from all of this, spiritually speaking. And I have been reaffirmed, which is always nice.
On a side note--we met with a child care lady today. The kids LOVED her. So, in two weeks they will start having Thursday afternoons away from me. Sniff...sniff...I don't know if I can stand it. We qualify for subsidy so it will only cost us like $16 a week for 5.25 hours. And there is a little girl from Nigeria there (she's Black--yay!). They both loved her. She is 4, so a little older. Then there is a little boy who is 2 , like Bubba. There will never be more than 4 there at a time. That is so nice. I think that this home based care will go well with our homeschool pre-school and my desire to keep them safe, etc. The child care lady is okay with Cupcake not being quite potty trained yet and with her seizures. She was also good with Bubba's history. I hope it will all work out as well as it seems. She isn't a Christian, but seems very nice. Funny--the coordinator from the main office is a Christian and we had a great talk about the Five Love Languages for children.
After a long hard day yesterday, a longer and harder night last night, and a rough start to the morning--this day has ended well. Thank you for the prayers and the support. And thank you for being honest with me in your comments. I really appreciate your friendship and accountability.
I am trying to let go of any hurt I felt over why DH didn't clarify it for me last night. The reality is it doesn't matter. I know that. I know that at any given time there will be those in the church who love you, those who don't, and those who don't care one way or the other. But it was nice to hear from our senior pastor today that I just need to be myself. Not only that, but that DH and I have done great work.
He didn't know for sure who the nasty comments came from, but suspects it is the man I mentioned in my last post. He and his wife are different. Both claim to have major ADHD problems and are probably right. They have three boys all with AHDH--who all love us. This couple wanted to be "Auntie and Uncle" to our kids and have gone out of their way at times to help us, like buying us nappies and wipes all of the time (for our first year here). They even helped us move. The wife is tall and big (like me) and we have had lots of talks about healthy eating and body image--mostly me helping her. But they have become disillusioned with DH because they realized they couldn't pit him against our senior pastor. Even if they didn't get along so well, DH is not the kind of man who would do anything to undermine his pastor/his boss. So they complain all of the time about how long the sermons are and that they are too spiritual and boring. Yada, yada, yada. They are the ones who say we should have worship with no preaching. Yup. Makes you wonder why they bother to come to church. The wife did children's time this month and because it is Halloween (we don't celebrate it here or as a church) she decided to share all of the scary Scriptures with the kids--like stories about severed heads, axes, knives, wars, demons, and leviathans. Yea. I missed it. I was working in the creche. But I was really glad that Cupcake hadn't been up there to hear it. If she had known all of the complaints that DH and I had to field over that she would keep her mouth shut.
So, all-in-all, not a bad end to the day. I have had to come to terms with what I need to learn from all of this, spiritually speaking. And I have been reaffirmed, which is always nice.
On a side note--we met with a child care lady today. The kids LOVED her. So, in two weeks they will start having Thursday afternoons away from me. Sniff...sniff...I don't know if I can stand it. We qualify for subsidy so it will only cost us like $16 a week for 5.25 hours. And there is a little girl from Nigeria there (she's Black--yay!). They both loved her. She is 4, so a little older. Then there is a little boy who is 2 , like Bubba. There will never be more than 4 there at a time. That is so nice. I think that this home based care will go well with our homeschool pre-school and my desire to keep them safe, etc. The child care lady is okay with Cupcake not being quite potty trained yet and with her seizures. She was also good with Bubba's history. I hope it will all work out as well as it seems. She isn't a Christian, but seems very nice. Funny--the coordinator from the main office is a Christian and we had a great talk about the Five Love Languages for children.
After a long hard day yesterday, a longer and harder night last night, and a rough start to the morning--this day has ended well. Thank you for the prayers and the support. And thank you for being honest with me in your comments. I really appreciate your friendship and accountability.
OHH that explains a lot. Imagine if you had no filter on your mouth or pen, what you would write about the people who attend church with you. Puts things into perspective, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteGOOD GRIEF on the severed heads/scary Bible stories! I could sorta see that for teens with the pastor's consent, but when I read stuff like this, it helps me understand why churches buy such inch-deep "Jesus really loves you and wants to be your forever friend" curriculum in a box for Sunday School.
GOD BLESS YA! Jealous of the $15 thing. I finally found childcare that would cost me "only" $20 an hour for just the four younger children. Discounted. Because if you have autistic children, they charge $16 per child usually. Arg. I'm thinking once a month for a couple hours I will purchase this commodity so that if there is a dire emergency I have someone who knows the ropes. But $60 a month "insurance" like that... think I'm gonna have a great time outside the house par-taying knowing that it's a buck every three minutes?? Yow.