With what little time I have for blog reading and writing at the moment, I read one this morning on finding joy. I am trying. Maybe I should try harder. Just having one of those supremely frustrating times--for no good reason. Nothing major is happening, its just all happening at once.
My mother is visiting. This was a long awaited and anticipated event. She always comes laden with gifts and awesome hand-me-downs. But sadly her time has mostly been taken up with preaching or teaching at our church and working on her next book. So, the "I just want to play with those kids" time that she promised hasn't really happened yet. I've only had a few hours alone with her and she's been here 6 days already.
Of course with Mom comes lots of news about my siblings in America and other issues. It's sort of nice, but also reminds me of why I moved to the other side of the world. There is just so much negativity and back biting in my family. It's really hard to handle. I love them all, but wish that loving them didn't come with a filter for all the crap they produce. I find that my filter gets clogged faster these days and I struggle to find the joy.
The church, our church, just had a big meeting last week about our worship services. And of course every issue was discussed except the real issue--the fact that our music teams suck and the self-appointed worship leader has ZERO personality and really sort of lacks any spiritual maturity. But no one, not even our pastor, can stand up to her. It's so weird. So because she doesn't like to lead two services we are back to one service in the morning and one at night. Never mind the 75 people who came to the later service--they can blend in and we will be back to seating 50 people in the hall each week who can't hear. So very frustrating. I tell you--I am ready any time DH decides to pursue a secular line of work. Then I think--God must have a plan, as He always does. And I try to find the joy.
Bubba got his referral letter for his pediatric consult--the first on his road to speech therapy and/or diagnosis of his underlying problem (autism or fetal alcohol syndrome or both). Anytime in the next 4-6 months we can expect to have our first appointment. Woo-hoo...
Then this morning as we are rushing to get the kids in the car to child care, Granny to church where she is leading the seniors group today, and us to a town an hour north for our first adoption/foster care seminar--our batteries in our car remote die. I had to take it apart and put is back together while everyone stands outside and waits (and Granny huffs because the kids are too close to the road, etc.). We finally got the doors open and the car started. The security system won't let the car start without that stupid button. Now DH has to keep the car running all morning until he gets the remote fixed and hope that we still have time to get to our meeting. Yay!
And finally, we get another email from DH's birth mother this morning because she HAS to be the first person to share bad news. She lives for it. You know those kind of people--they so love to gossip that they can't even wait to share bad news as long as they get to tell you first. She had to update us on all of the people she knows, or her immediate family knows, or we know who have now been declared dead in the earthquake. It's not like we don't want to know this, it's just the way she does it.
See--it's really nothing major. Just a whole lot of silly little things that I am allowing to rob my joy. Silly me.
My mother is visiting. This was a long awaited and anticipated event. She always comes laden with gifts and awesome hand-me-downs. But sadly her time has mostly been taken up with preaching or teaching at our church and working on her next book. So, the "I just want to play with those kids" time that she promised hasn't really happened yet. I've only had a few hours alone with her and she's been here 6 days already.
Of course with Mom comes lots of news about my siblings in America and other issues. It's sort of nice, but also reminds me of why I moved to the other side of the world. There is just so much negativity and back biting in my family. It's really hard to handle. I love them all, but wish that loving them didn't come with a filter for all the crap they produce. I find that my filter gets clogged faster these days and I struggle to find the joy.
The church, our church, just had a big meeting last week about our worship services. And of course every issue was discussed except the real issue--the fact that our music teams suck and the self-appointed worship leader has ZERO personality and really sort of lacks any spiritual maturity. But no one, not even our pastor, can stand up to her. It's so weird. So because she doesn't like to lead two services we are back to one service in the morning and one at night. Never mind the 75 people who came to the later service--they can blend in and we will be back to seating 50 people in the hall each week who can't hear. So very frustrating. I tell you--I am ready any time DH decides to pursue a secular line of work. Then I think--God must have a plan, as He always does. And I try to find the joy.
Bubba got his referral letter for his pediatric consult--the first on his road to speech therapy and/or diagnosis of his underlying problem (autism or fetal alcohol syndrome or both). Anytime in the next 4-6 months we can expect to have our first appointment. Woo-hoo...
Then this morning as we are rushing to get the kids in the car to child care, Granny to church where she is leading the seniors group today, and us to a town an hour north for our first adoption/foster care seminar--our batteries in our car remote die. I had to take it apart and put is back together while everyone stands outside and waits (and Granny huffs because the kids are too close to the road, etc.). We finally got the doors open and the car started. The security system won't let the car start without that stupid button. Now DH has to keep the car running all morning until he gets the remote fixed and hope that we still have time to get to our meeting. Yay!
And finally, we get another email from DH's birth mother this morning because she HAS to be the first person to share bad news. She lives for it. You know those kind of people--they so love to gossip that they can't even wait to share bad news as long as they get to tell you first. She had to update us on all of the people she knows, or her immediate family knows, or we know who have now been declared dead in the earthquake. It's not like we don't want to know this, it's just the way she does it.
See--it's really nothing major. Just a whole lot of silly little things that I am allowing to rob my joy. Silly me.
You know Bonnie, we often mistake joy for happiness ~ & it's not. Nothing like. It is simply confidence that God has it all under control & we can rest serene in that simple fact.
ReplyDeleteBesides, a lot of life is crap & the only thing to do is laugh about it.
On a more serious note your music leader is dangerous & something should be done to remove her. Scripture is very clear about spiritual maturity being the first critea for any leadership role. When this is ignored problems follow. Your pastor needs to get a backbone. Sorry, but I've seen wishy~washiness on these sorts of things destroy churches & valid ministeries.
Have no idea on other advice but the email, you can open when you are ready. OHHH!!! I have really great advice. You should be the worship leader. Give Bubba a tambourine and Cupcake some maracas and have at it. You charge $100 a service and YES, you want to do both services every week and an extra on Wednesday. :)
ReplyDeleteWOWEE! You are being put through the ringer.
ReplyDeleteI looooved being the worship team at my church. It's a church of 300 and I love them like crazy. I've been offered to sing on Christian TV, said no. I was offered to be on a Worship team in a mega church, said no. I just want to be with people I love and no, I would never do ministry for money. Ever, ever, ever. I'm sorry your worship team stinks. BUT, if they are giving their heart and trying, that's what matters. If people complain, tell them it's not broadway. WE all just want to Praise God.
My family is just like yours. There is so much fighting and backbiting. We are all split up and separated. It's really, really sad.
You are a wonderful person. You also will be tested because of the ministry you are in. Keep strong!