Lately, I have been so overwhelmed with Bubba and his needs, worrying about money, about work, about child care, about my brother, about DH's work, about my Mom and my Dad. I haven't had any head space to just appreciate my life and my family.
Today I am sitting here crying--just able to focus on my kids and my husband. I am so blessed! Next month Andy and I will have been married 8 years. I've had 8 years of trust, faithfulness, and kindness. Things I have never known from any other man in my life. I am married to a man who still gives me goosebumps and every time he says "I love you" I get warm fuzzies all over. Those words from his mouth are not meaningless.
And I have these two gorgeous children. Ian (Bubba) with all of his troubles is so precious. Yes he has tantrums and he's hard to manage and I get tired. I worry about his speech, his hearing, his learning, his behaviour, and his ITP. But I love him so much. He has learned to say "hug" and he says it all the time. He'll come over and say "hug" and then give me the best cuddle. He says "Momma" and I just think about how blessed I am to be his Momma. Three years ago it was all still so new--he was our little miracle man. He still is.
Olivia (Cupcake) has always been so precious. Even when she was peeling wallpaper off the walls and or when she stomps her feet and says "no!" Today she told her Dad "I'm so glad you're my Daddy." He said, "Why?" She said, "because you are good daddy." He said, "what about Mummy?" She said, "yes, Mummy is good too! I love you Mummy." Where does she come up with this stuff? I don't know. But I can't help but think that maybe we are doing something right. She has the peace and the confidence and the love to express herself. What an amazing thing. I never knew how much your kids give back to you. It's priceless.
Anyway--today I am just grateful. Grateful for all of it--the messes, the hard work, the lack of money, the worry and even the sleepless nights. What a huge gift! Thank you Lord for my family!
Today I am sitting here crying--just able to focus on my kids and my husband. I am so blessed! Next month Andy and I will have been married 8 years. I've had 8 years of trust, faithfulness, and kindness. Things I have never known from any other man in my life. I am married to a man who still gives me goosebumps and every time he says "I love you" I get warm fuzzies all over. Those words from his mouth are not meaningless.
And I have these two gorgeous children. Ian (Bubba) with all of his troubles is so precious. Yes he has tantrums and he's hard to manage and I get tired. I worry about his speech, his hearing, his learning, his behaviour, and his ITP. But I love him so much. He has learned to say "hug" and he says it all the time. He'll come over and say "hug" and then give me the best cuddle. He says "Momma" and I just think about how blessed I am to be his Momma. Three years ago it was all still so new--he was our little miracle man. He still is.
Olivia (Cupcake) has always been so precious. Even when she was peeling wallpaper off the walls and or when she stomps her feet and says "no!" Today she told her Dad "I'm so glad you're my Daddy." He said, "Why?" She said, "because you are good daddy." He said, "what about Mummy?" She said, "yes, Mummy is good too! I love you Mummy." Where does she come up with this stuff? I don't know. But I can't help but think that maybe we are doing something right. She has the peace and the confidence and the love to express herself. What an amazing thing. I never knew how much your kids give back to you. It's priceless.
Anyway--today I am just grateful. Grateful for all of it--the messes, the hard work, the lack of money, the worry and even the sleepless nights. What a huge gift! Thank you Lord for my family!
☺ Glad for you.
ReplyDeleteHappy anniversary to you both and may God continue to bless and increase your family!! :)
ReplyDeleteOh, Bonnie! I understand in some ways. Chaz was my very first and mannnnn, it was not easy. I had never had any children before him so I just really didn't know what to expect. He didn't potty train till 4 1/2 and was by far my hardest kid ever. Every church service I got called down to come get Chaz out of nursery because they just couldn't handle him. I thought I was just a bad parent. At the time I didn't even know about Aspergers Syndrome. It was really, really tough. BUT, I promise as they mature, some things just get easier. Chaz still has issues and (OH MY GOSH HE TESTS MY PATIENCE), but it's still not as hard as when he was little. I hope it gets better soon. Don't feel bad for feeling overwhelmed. It really is hard work. You are amazing. Don't expect perfection from yourself. Go in a closet and cry your eyes out if you have to and take breaks when hubby is around if you can.
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