Changes Ahead

Isn't this a cute picture of DH and Sissy? My Mom sent him the new shirt and Sissy had to get into the picture too. She is standing on a chair. :-) We are currently in the "I love having my picture taken" phase.

So, big changes ahead I think. I have been feeling increasingly unhappy with our child care arrangements. I know I have blogged about that in the past. Our child care provider (in-home child care) is a nice lady, a friend of the family, sort of tied to our church. She is a former primary school teacher and has a daughter Bubba's age. BUT she is not a Christian (although has some Christian leanings). We have caught her in a little lie before like--"I'm sick, can't watch the kids today" then find her at the park. And she has become increasingly prescriptive with us. She has no problem if we are late dropping off the kids in the morning, or if she is running late at the end of the day. She has no problem not ever having given us their daily books (which is required by her agency) and this year wanted to do weekly emails, which lasted 1 week. But if we show up late to pick them we get the riot act.

Bubba came home last week covered in scrapes that she insists did not happen in her care, but they didn't happen here. I'm not too worried about it, but it's just odd. She wanted to take them to the beach. I said I rather she didn't. She gets offended and I get a lecture on how much experience she has and she can't believe that I don't trust her.

She really butted in with the foster kids. And I find that more and more not only do I not trust her, but I don't like her and I don't want to leave my kids. I have worked for a year now. I love my work, but I don't work enough to warrant paying out $200 a month in child care. I can maintain my current level of income just seeing clients when DH can watch the kids.

We've had a huge talk and he has been so much better about interacting with them and watching them. He says if I would leave him a lesson plan or some such thing (instructions)--he would happily manage them while I saw clients. So, I am going to discuss it with my supervisor tomorrow, but I think I am going to give notice with our child care lady and pull the kids out.

I want to be a full time Mom again. I hate sending them away. It has been really helpful with Bubba, but I think he also needs more time at home. We're doing swimming lessons and we can do library time, etc. All of the things she does with them. So why continue to send them to her when I don't want to?

It shouldn't be a big struggle. It's just that I tend to over react to things. And I wanted to make sure I wasn't giving in too early as no situation (where someone else is watching your kids) will ever be perfect. But I keep coming round to this and feel as if it is becoming clear. Even DH agrees. So, I can use the submissive wife argument. :-)

Anyway--I'm excited. But not looking forward to telling her. Pray for me!