My Momma always said "Opinions are kind of like butt holes. Everyone has got one." Especially when you have a child who doesn't quite fit into the "normal" category.
How he sleeps.
When he sleeps.
What he eats.
How much/little he eats.
What kind of school he needs.
What kind of help he needs.
Discipline?
Some people (like his child care provider) think he doesn't need things like speech and occupational therapy. Oh, he will just catch up some day.
Some people think he is lost and we are saints for even attempting to raise him. UGH!
I just get so tired of other people's opinions. Even something as simple as hiring a babysitter for our small group becomes an issue because we need to have one, but other parent's don't see the point. So we end up paying for the sitter (who watches all 6 kids every week at home group) to avoid the whole "why can't you just watch him?" I don't know. Maybe because I'd like to have 2 hours a week to spend in Bible study and fellowship without having to worry about whether or not he's climbed the fence, sitting on the roof, or peeing in the floor. :-/
Wishing we lived closer to town and could walk more.
Wishing we had more money or were better at managing our money.
Wishing people would keep their opinions about my son to themselves.
Wishing I could live my life and raise my family without having to deal with other people's expectations.
Okay--I guess I am wishing that things like autism and adhd didn't exist--or birth mother's who free base cocaine right up until they deliver.
How he sleeps.
When he sleeps.
What he eats.
How much/little he eats.
What kind of school he needs.
What kind of help he needs.
Discipline?
Some people (like his child care provider) think he doesn't need things like speech and occupational therapy. Oh, he will just catch up some day.
Some people think he is lost and we are saints for even attempting to raise him. UGH!
I just get so tired of other people's opinions. Even something as simple as hiring a babysitter for our small group becomes an issue because we need to have one, but other parent's don't see the point. So we end up paying for the sitter (who watches all 6 kids every week at home group) to avoid the whole "why can't you just watch him?" I don't know. Maybe because I'd like to have 2 hours a week to spend in Bible study and fellowship without having to worry about whether or not he's climbed the fence, sitting on the roof, or peeing in the floor. :-/
Wishing we lived closer to town and could walk more.
Wishing we had more money or were better at managing our money.
Wishing people would keep their opinions about my son to themselves.
Wishing I could live my life and raise my family without having to deal with other people's expectations.
Okay--I guess I am wishing that things like autism and adhd didn't exist--or birth mother's who free base cocaine right up until they deliver.
Yes, I get frustrated. But most of the time I am able to scream out loud--I am the most blessed woman alive! I love my kids. I love our life. I love my husband and he loves us. We are pretty healthy and we are making progress. Most importantly we are beloved of God. Now I just need to turn that grace loose onto other people's opinions. :-)
I can see very easily why you'd want a break. Though people who say you are a saint for raising him probably don't like him very much, I am sorry to say. Or maybe they are just very frustrated at some of the things he does and conclude that you have superpowers or something.
ReplyDeleteNeither of which is true. I wish I could blame my kids' problems on my taking drugs, though. It would be nice to have something to blame or some "reason" sometimes if that makes sense. Maybe it would not help to know, but cause other problems.
Well. I am just glad you are sharing his life and your daughter's with me. Hugs! :)
PS. Still praying for your family to grow soon. I know the waiting has to be hard and the not knowing when/if part especially.
Dear HEM--I love ya! You keep me grounded in the hear and the now. We can't actually blame Ian's problems on the drugs, because most kids with issues had normal pregnancies and loving Mommas. But the "experts" want to blame the drugs. Maybe the drugs did cause his problems. We'll never know. I love him so much that I don't know if I would really change him--it's just hard sometimes. I remember 6 monts ago when his plateletes bottomed out and we thought it might be leukemia--just thinking how I hadn't had enough time with my precious boy. Maybe I need to think that way more. :-) We are still praying for baby number 3--hoping that 2012 is the year! Thanks for being my friend!
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