Just when you think it's safe--life happens. For me it usually happens all at once. UGH!
Today started out fine and got worse as the day progressed.
Dropped the kids off at school. Felt sad. Felt sick. Took a nap.
Woken up by DH on his way too dentist for what was supposed to be a filling.
DH informs me that his job is changing drastically and various other stressful things.
DH gets home from dentist has had a root canal instead and now we have $2100 of dental work coming.
Had an unexpected visitor just as I was trying to leave to pick up the kids.
Late to pick-up the kids.
Took kids to the park for a play to let DH rest. Sissy was tired and she's bashful about playing with strange kids. Bubby jumped right into a group, as always, ended with him getting bullied from the older kids. Probably something to do with his lack of words and his urge to hug everyone.
Mad about the mean kids and upset over Buuby's still obvious needs and challenges that I wonder if he will ever meet. Worried about how I will be able to keep up with helping him this year, while trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with me (Did I tell you I spent all day Monday at the hospital in excruciating pain only to be told I am fine and it might be shingles or nothing.) and helping DH do his new job, which will involve me.
Backed into a pole leaving the park. Put a dent in my Mom's bumper.
Got home. Called Mom in America. Had a big cry. Told to suck it up. Tried.
Went to deposit a check and get dinner. Kids fought all the way. Sissy cried, as she does, when I was laughing because she was making puppy noises. I thought it was cute. The feeling that I had hurt her feelings made me cry. So I got mad and turned the car around--u-turn in the middle of the street, came home and went to bed.
Kids kept fighting. Bubby went to bed crying. Sissy got a smack for shoving him and just generally being mean to him. The night ended with us having a talk about families, and grumpiness, and love and adoption.
All of this happened within the space of about 4.5 hours. I am exhausted. Don't know whether I am coming or going. Wondering why God continues to dump on my like this. I suppose He feels I am being too independent and will be forced to turn to Him more, because it's the only possible way I will survive the next portion of my life.
They say ignorance is bliss. Wishing I was just a bit more ignorant. Could use some bliss.
OH what an awful day. Tomorrow has GOT to be better! And I hear you on the bullying. You want your kid to be ok by himself but you just know he isn't. Not a good feeling.
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