There is good news and bad news...
The good news is things are going well at home. The kids are all getting along now. Bubba has settled down and is even playing with the little boys. Cookie is sleeping through the night. And Dude, well he's a hand full, but super sweet! Here is more good news--we got a call today asking if we would consider taking in the 3 middle children. They are two girls ages 10 and 9 and a boy 7. These 3 have been in a group home all of this time. They were going to go to an Aunt, but she has a history with the child welfare group and other problems.
So, all going well--we will be a family of 10 some time next week. Yep, that's right, we'll have 8 kids. The oldest boy is still in a different foster home and he's doing well there. For now that's where he will stay. They are still concerned because he was the parent to the younger kid all of these years.
Okay--so are you ready for the bad news?
People in the church, including our senior pastor, DH's boss and my boss--have actually been complaining about us taking on foster kids. I believe something was said to the effect that our first loyalty was to the church. Seriously?! (Screaming and hair pulling!)
My first loyalty is to God and then to my family and then to the church/our jobs. Who do they think they are to dictate to us how big our family can be or from where it comes? Oh I am so ready to just quit and have DH quit too.
Not only that but there continues to be this group of whiners who get an enormous amount of attention, who are stirring up trouble again. It's not enough that they have finally forced the senior pastor into retiring early (end of next year) after almost 25 years of service. Now they are taking on the whole staff and the very vision/heart of the church. That would be bad enough in itself, but you learn to deal with these things in church ministry, because no matter where you go or what church you serve the church will always be filled with people and people sin and make mistakes. End of story. So you either learn to serve God first and then the people, or you get out of ministry.
But no one--I mean NO ONE--is ever going to tell me how big my family can be or how we bring children into our family. I am just appalled that Christian leaders would sit around and whinge over one of their pastors taking in foster children--helping the very orphans that Christ talks about--instead of getting behind that pastor and doing all they could to support them. Wow. Sad, really sad.
So there it is--the good and the bad. Pray for us!! We need all the prayers we can get!
I love how you have phrased this, Miss Bonnie. A lot of other jobs have this unwritten rule about having "too many" kids. Just in church, people feel free to say all kinds of things they would NEVER say to someone they associate with in another social group or whathaveyou. And the fact that your husband is employed there and must somehow suck it up when comments like that are thrown about... well, that's hard. I can actually understand THINKING, "I'm not sure * is going to be able to perform these duties once the kids get here" and it's quite another SAYING it. It is simply unprofessional and inappropriate, no matter what the relationship between * and this other person. If * falls down in his duties, well, DEAL WITH IT THEN. This person is not his Poppa.
ReplyDeleteAnd to say their organization comes before the orphan is appalling. Because really, that's what these kids are functionally.
I hope that you are able to pray with * and think about if you are going to quit, but whether you do or not, would you please consider lovingly confronting them? As iron sharpens iron and all that. I don't think they realize what they are doing. Many hugs. Much love.